Is it too late to file?

I think I'll run for President of the United States of America.

I will promise universal health coverage, lower taxes, the end of war, and quality education for every American child. I will issue a temporary permit for workers who want to cross the border for a summer of farm labor. I will decriminalize drugs. I will support prisoner rehabilitation. I will put the tobacco companies out of business.

With this platform I won't have to worry about carrying out its terms because I won't get elected. Since I know I won't get elected, I won't run. That will save me about $3 million or so, not counting the millions it will save my campaign supporters. Everybody wins.

If a penny saved is a penny earned, I just earned $3 million. Not bad for a day of not working on a Sunday.